Wednesday, July 4, 2007

On the 4th of July, I had 3 meetings and did paperwork. You?



Yes, it is the 4th of July everywhere. Intellectually, I completely understood and thought I was prepared for the fact that nobody else in the world gives a damn about that day but us. Most Americans, even, don't really care. It's just our God-given right to that day off dedicated to eating outside and high explosives. I like that. Most Americans like that.

However, I was completely unprepared for how weird it was going to be today. I am not a big patriot by any means, but it is so strange to be here in the UK while everyone is celebrating back in the states. I get messages from friends who are cooking out today. We are going to be watching a webcast later this evening of our old neighborood's BBQ. It's on the news, etc. It's all just weird.

So, my family and I--we will celebrate. We are going to invite our new British neighbors over for Dogs and Burgers and make them enjoy this day dammit! AND I am going to spend the evening listening to the White Sox game on MLB.com!

But--I'll have to wait until Guy Fawkes day (Nov. 5th) for the fireworks to go on sale here!

Enjoy the day. Be Patriotic, but not the nationalistic/jingoistic/Fox news/Karl Rove version of it! (That's part of the reason I left in the first place!)

--tomb

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

They got me, Dammit!

Even after I swore I would not fall into the British Television trap that I see so many actual English people fall into—they got me. Oh yes, the magnificent bastards, I have read their book—and still, they got me.

You see, unlike American TV shows—which go on and on and on and on, year after year until it “jumps the shark” and begins its death throes (which could still take 3 seasons)—British television, as an industry sees itself like a cross between a drug dealer and B.F. Skinner.

“Here’s a neat show. Do you like it? Wow, everyone likes it! It’s hit. We are proud to bring it to you. Oh, yes it is wonderful. Now it’s off. Yes, it had its six-episode series. It’s done. Oh, I know it seems like you are in the middle of a storyline, but that is how the writers intended it! Yes, create your own conclusion. Did you know ‘Big Brother’ is back for the summer…”

I have seen this happen in the past. I swore I would not get into any domestically produced shows here because I knew…oh, I knew that this would happen.

Yet, in my earliest days here, on a quiet Sunday evening, I was offered this:

http://www.itv.com/page.asp?partid=7789

And it was filled with actors I like (Stephen Fry, Hermione from “Cold Feet”) set in Norfolk (charming countryside) and it wasn’t CSI, ER, or Law&Order. It was wonderful.

Now, it’s gone. 6 episodes. Done. Maybe there will be series 2. Maybe not.

I am going back to listening to the radio, and watching a few American series that won’t die anytime soon, but probably should.

--tomb

Monday, June 4, 2007

Born Identity...

So, I am trying to figure out just what exactly is the reputation of America. Or rather—what is it that people think when they encounter an American?

I have had some strange experiences in this regard. I think primarily it is because people are finding an American in their midst but not in the usual tourist-y places. They are finding an American in the grocery store, in the cinema, at the mall, or small pubs in small towns where foreigners don’t often travel.

Case in point. I was in Sainsbury’s, which is a large super market player like Albertsons/Jewel. In line at the register, the girl there asked if I needed help bagging my groceries. I replied, “No thanks, I got it.”

A woman behind me then taps me on the shoulder asking, “Excuse me, but are you an American?” Bracing myself for whatever could come next, I said yes. She said, “hey that’s really cool,” which was totally not what I was expecting. I said, “Really? Thanks, we don’t get much of that.” By this time I had bagged my stuff and she was waiting with her things, so there wasn’t much follow-up.

Another incident involved several drunken youths at a local pub. Whilst the event did something to bolster my ego, it is still perplexing. I went to have a couple of beers with a friend of mine. In the UK, the young studs like to go out en masse to the pubs, get fairly hammered, and then try to go out to clubs to meet women. So if you go out during the early-drinking-stage, you are likely to see one of these groups. I did. They were all drinking Bud, which I find ironic. Anyway, one of them drops a Bud on the floor. My friend says, “It’s a shame to see beer go to waste like that, even if it’s Bud.” I agreed, we chuckled and continued drinking our pints.

Well…one the boys comes over to me and says “Do you think we’re cheap, mate?”
I say, “what?”
“My friend says you think we’re cheap, because we drink Bud.”
“Nope.”
“Well, I think you did.”

At this point the reader should observe two things. First, my friend, who is English, is the only one of us they heard speak. Second, my replies have all been one word, hard to distinguish my origins. Here’s what happened next.

I stood up and said, “Well, I’m not sure what you heard, man. But we weren’t talking to you. Perhaps your friend shouldn’t listen in on other people. He misunderstood us, and now it’s causing a problem.”

The front boy says, “Wait. Are you from America?”
“Yeah.”


Pause.
“Listen, our friend is kind of drunk. Don’t worry about what he says. We were going anyway. Cheers.”

I am stunned by this. If I did not have a friend there with me to witness it all, I would have thought I imagined it. I have no idea why they left, or why my being an American had anything to do with it. But, somehow it did. Did they think I had a gun? Apparently we all do in the States, we are all gangsters and cowboys.

What must they all think of us?
--tomb

Monday, May 14, 2007

News, and Where's Waldo?

Well, just quick update now to be followed in the next day or so by the Tom-ish-ness that everyone has come to expect from the blahhgh.

I have Broadband access in my home now.

There are a few of you out there who know that this mean better things may be just around the corner. Soon. Testing to commence.

Also: In addition to odd things that I have found in my eye (which I have promised, and not yet revealed), and why blogging is like golf (which I may never divulge--make your own assumptions), I will now also preview a future topic called: Is the demand for "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place" that great???

I am also including a pic this time. Tommy in UK. See if you can find me in this photo:

Thursday, April 26, 2007

The stupidest things are different.

First off, thanks to all for the nice replies to my last post. I don't know how you may be alerted to when someone responds to your response, but I did try answer some of the questions.


Now for my thought dropping of the day: Look at you keyboard. Go ahead. Find the '@' symbol. You see where yours is? Above the '2'.

MINE is NOW where the " used to be. And my " is now above the '2'

WTF? Do you know how many emails I have tried to send this week that looked like this:

tomb"radiotiki.com

WHY? there is no good reason for the keyboards to be different. I actually expected other problems. Like the '£' would have to go somewhere. BUT they kept the '$' right where it normally goes. (for those morbidly curious, the '#' has been displaced.)

I can't type now. Fuck.

Also, they gave me a checkbook at my new bank. (HSBC) I am currently too embarassed to ask anyone how to make out a check, because it doesn't look like any I have EVER seen. I guess I will be late on my bills as I have to go the library to figure this one out.

--tomb

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Telecom Woes...

So, I have moved to the UK. I am in a very empty house, with a mattress, a comfy chair, a battery operated radio, and a nice TV. The TV is odd since it is a 40-inch LCD HD ready, etc. etc...yet it has a set of rabbit-ears sticking out of it.
It's like the Jetsons meet the Flintstones.

I don't yet have Cable/Sat.

Anyway, you may have noticed in my above list I DID NOT SAY "computer" or "laptop" at all. That is because, they are essentially useless in my new home. (save for games, watching DVDs, doing work, blah, blah.)

I don't yet have Cable/Sat. --which means no Broadband/HighSpeed/DSL.

So here is the deal in the UK:
1)you have to have a BT line to get Sky Satellite.
2)it takes Sky about 10 days to come out to see you and put up a dish.
3)You have to be an established Sky customer in order to add-on Broadband.
4)It takes 10 days after that to get your modem delivered. (You have to use theirs.)

So, no BB, no Internet, spotty blogging, and for those of you waiting on it: no opportunity--right now--to re-establish Radiotiki. It will be a few more weeks, kids.

Sorry. I will Blog as I can from the office or Library.

Until I get umbilical back to the world...Smoochies.
--tomb

Thursday, March 29, 2007

As promised...

Remember way back when I started the blahhhgggg? A month and a half ago? Seems like only a couple of weeks to me, though. Time really flies.

In my second post I jotted down some idea of things I intended to share but was in danger of forgetting. Well, it didn't help. I forgot. But now I have re-visited the list in question. Let's give bullet #1 a go, shall we?


The Joys and Dangers of Not Stirring One's Coffee. (also applies to tea.)
I have this idea in my head that several really good, robust cups of coffee are a great meal replacement when I forget to eat breakfast or have worked through lunch. I do not claim this is correct or even healthy, but--when I am getting a bit peckish at the office, sometimes a hot beverage with the right amount of sweet & foam makes the hungry go away.

So, I have been imbibing a markedly increased amount of coffee and tea as of late. This also means I have been adding sweetener and cream-like-non-dairy-product to my beverages too. But in this age of Al-Gore-can-win-an-Oscar-for-scaring-the-shit-out-of-us, I have concluded that it is extremely wasteful to use the seemingly endless pile of little plastic straws, logo-stirrers, and little wooden sticks. I decided to not stir the coffee at all. Just hope that a little "swishing around" will do the trick.

It works. I feel much better about acting-locally, thinking-globally and I still get my coffee. In theory, I am happy. However, occasionally the mix isn't right or I didn't slosh it around enough. When this happens then my last few sips, the dregs if you will, are a coffee/syrup-y/creamer-sludge nightmare.


Yet I still drink it.

I feel good doing my part for Gaia, but I risk getting the diabetes from the un-stirred detritus in the bottom of my cup.

Was this worth the wait? Nah, not for me either. :)
--tomb