National Hosiery Obsession

For those of you that know me personally, in the non-blog-world (Real World? Wow, I hesitate to use that moniker), you know that for the last few years I have going to the health club/gym and working out either at lunch time or mornings during the work week. Turns out, that this has been a real positive change in my life and I actually have become quite addicted to my workout. Never expected that, when I think about it. Mind you, this doesn’t necessarily mean I am any less of a fat-ass or significantly healthier, but the possibility is there at the very least. I do feel better overall when I work out…I guess that is all that matters.

So, being addicted to my new quasi-athletic hobby, as well as the prospect of having “big guns” and wearing tight T-Shirts for the Ladies— I sought out a Health Club near my office so I could continue my daily routine of self-abuse (a.k.a exercise) upon my move to the UK.

I found it, right on the far side of the Car Park from the office. Good location, nice staff, good equipment, free newspaper, all-in-all quite good. Fitness First. That is why I was so surprised when I noticed all the bits of black…crud…clumps…all over the floor of the men’s locker room and shower area. I couldn’t imagine what it was, perhaps mold or some sort of bizarre English fungus? Then I finally figured it out, only after I noticed on my own feet!! My gods, it’s on me…get it off!

It is lint. Yes. Lint.

The people in this country are so obsessed with BLACK SOCKS or, more accurately are so ANTI-WHITE-SOCK that the locker room is constantly covered in the lint sloughing off the feet of hundreds of black-stockinged-males. Some of them even wear dark coloured athletic socks to work out. They simply can not deal with white socks. I have no idea why.

I am an outsider here, I admit it. But, to constantly wear dark socks just seems too strange. Some will even go so far as to wear dark colours with white trainers. (Trainers = “athletic shoes” for those of you not from this small island.) It doesn’t get much goofier than that.

Next, I started to notice the black lint EVERYWHERE …in the shoe store, on the carpet at the office, drifts of it along the rails of my pub, even in my own house…next to my bed…little tumbleweeds of black sock lint. Aaaiiieee!!

I am starting a campaign. I am slowly going to introduce people here to white socks. Athletic socks, at first…but then over time, show them that they can be quite “tasteful” with converse all-star high tops (which are oddly very popular here), or very comfy on a cold winter night

The Brits don’t change too easily, though. I expect limited success. I will keep you posted.

--tomb

PS: for you long-time readers of my blog…I have an answer to the question that may have been plaguing some of you since the very birth of the blog.

It was a feather.

How it got there? I can only guess it came from my pillow. Likely, it would have been there all day too, if I had not looked in the mirror and noticed that my lower eyelashes seemed weirdly white. It didn’t hurt. Dug it out with a kleenex.

--t